Tim and I and the pups enjoyed a family ride to the airport for my early Saturday morning flight. Sammie, Kennedy and Jazz are all familiar with the “airport run” since we often deliver or pick Tim up there, but historically it’s been less common for me to be the one coming or going alone. It seems that may change as Tim and I move toward the next “chapter” in our life.
Jazzie tucked in behind someone's head (I think it's Samantha's). Jazzie may be smaller and less agile than either Kenman or Sammie, but she is the most unafraid little thing I've ever seen. At 12, her hind legs are weak and I don't think she was previously active enough to ever achieve a strong fitness level, which of course we keep in mind when doing things with her, but she seems completely undaunted by that. Whatever she lacks in athletic ability or agility, she makes up for in "spunk" as Tim aptly put it.We arrived at the Portland Jetport with plenty of time to spare, so Tim came in with me so we could be together a little longer before I went through security. I was looking forward to being in Bequia again, even if the timing was not so great since Tim had just returned around midnight Thursday from a business trip after being gone all week, but such is life for busy people eh?
This is a change though, since we’re both used to him missing lots of weekends since he’s always traveled for work, but having me be the one leaving him at home with the dogs and other household responsibilities is a new experience for both of us, and one that requires us both to regroup a bit.
To fly or not to fly
I used to really enjoy flying but not so much anymore with today's reduced number of flights and therefore more cramped and crowded planes, and of course the "joys" of clearing security. If traveling in New England I tend to take the bus or train whenever possible (my personal favorite is the train, because you don’t have the security hassles and you can use your "electronic devices" freely, and getting up and moving around is easier too). I find the way the US government has implemented airport security procedures to be degrading and mostly unproductive - since as with most heavy-handed systems, it punishes the honest people and the dishonest ones just find a new way around it. But that’s a soapbox for another day.....
Tim waited until I cleared the security hurdles and then we waved until we could no longer see each other after I turned the corner toward the gate, but I looked forward to seeing him again in a couple of short weeks. It helped to know we’d keep in regular touch with Skype calls and email. I DO love the Internet, and how I wish we’d had that back in the early 80’s when he was gone for 3 weeks at a time in Saudi Arabia and other Mideast locations where our contact was limited to once/week if that.
What do we read?
The flight to Atlanta was blissfully uneventful and even on time, and as I had several hours to wait before boarding my connecting flight to Barbados, I spent much of the time walking through the airport concourses just for the exercise and something to do. At one point I stopped in a bookstore to get a bottle of water and was immediately bombarded as I walked in the door by an “OK Magazine” featuring cover photo of Jennifer Anniston and headlines “Jen’s diet secrets that work”, and right next to it was People with “Best Bodies – Hollywood shares secret tips” splashed across the front in bright white letters. Oh boy, I can’t wait to hand over several dollars of hard earned money to read those. Yeah right.
Kennedy (aka Kenman) is probably happiest either on the beach roaming free (everyone needs to have their head once in a while), or in riding in the car which he now seems to equate with adventure and good things. These days when we go somewhere in the car his excitement is such that it seems he can scarcely contain himself. I love his enthusiasm for life.However as I continued past the “glamour” corner I came across something I might be willing to part with money to obtain – I noticed Valerie Bertinelli (perhaps along with a ghost writer) has written a book about her life – from childhood star at age 12, to marrying a rock-n-roll icon, to watching her life change and her weight go up and down along with her happiness factor when things began to fall apart. I didn’t buy the book (at least not yet), because before I spend $16 or whatever the price was I tend to think about that a while, even if it’s “only $16.” And being the cheap person that I am (a friend said I wasn’t cheap but just “thrifty”, but honestly I think cheap is probably more fitting) – if I wait a few months it will probably be available in paperback at a fraction of the cost. I’m not always sure whether I’m being responsible or I’m just afraid to make a decision – but it’s true that sometimes waiting to spend money so I can spend less of it later seems like the thing to do for me.
As I walk away from the news stand I am struck that perhaps this choice of reading materials says much about the society in which we live. Option 1A: I can pay a few dollars and “read” (if you can call it that) a short and glossy article with more pictures than words, in a “throw-away” magazine that used lots of resources to create and will probably wind up in a landfill someday, about a glamorous TV and movie star who makes more money in a year than most of us will see in a lifetime, about her “quick fix” for staying thin. Knowing of course that not everyone can afford to fly in personal trainers or has the same access to whatever else might make that process a little easier for her. Or option 1B: I can spend the same amount of dollars and read about an entire group of glamorous people and how they keep their “hard bodies” – never mind the camera angles and air brushing and everything else that help that “image” that are curiously NOT mentioned in that magazine. Or Option 2: I can spend a little more and get a hard cover book (or perhaps later a paperback one), that will also come with pictures but might actually contain an interesting story about someone who’s willing to share BOTH the ups and downs of their life, not just the “glamorous” parts; and which perhaps I could keep for my own personal library, or even better, give to a friend who could reuse that resource or recycle it by donating it to my local library who would probably love to have it. I find myself wondering which choice most people make when presented with those options? And what it says about us as a nation if most of us out there seem to make one or the other? Life is full of choices out there, but I wonder how many of us really even notice how often we make them, and the ways they ultimately change our life?
Changing times
(but then, when are they NOT changing?)Sammie enjoys a rawhide chew. She tends to throw hers around first like a play thing - tossing it in the air and then pouncing on it when it hits the ground. It's her own little unique game and it's fun to watch.As I wander from one concourse to another in Atlanta Hartsfield, I notice the changes in how we live and work reflected in the amenities in the airport. For instance, the formerly prevalent banks of payphones have been reduced to only a few here, driven to almost obsoleteness by the incredible popularity of cell phones. Sometimes I think I am one of the few remaining holdouts who resist being "reachable" every minute of the day by a cell phone or other “gadgets”, although I’ll bet there are others out there, even if in the minority these days.
I notice this as I stop by a pay phone bank, which upon closer inspection is actually only 4 pay phones (2 or 3 which don’t appear to work), and 4 Internet access stations. As I use my old-fashioned prepaid calling card to check in with Tim back in Portland, I see a 20-something guy waiting patiently nearby, and as I leave the phone booth I realize he was waiting to use the phone too. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who still uses them. As I walk past the laptop recharge stations in the waiting areas in the C concourse for Delta, I’m again struck by the dependence we seem to have today on “gadgets” – we need money to buy them and their accessories, we need places to recharge them and the recharging accessories to do it, we need carrying cases or belt holders to carry them, and we’re constantly interrupted and distracted by them, and in some cases it seems we’ve forgotten how to “disconnect” once in a while and just sit quietly and think or read or chat with the person sitting next to us. I can’t help but wonder, have all these “conveniences” really made our lives better?
Hmmmm....to eat healthy or what sounds good?
As I make the long walk between my arrival at concourse B to the international departures at concourse E in Delta-land, I keep a sharp eye open for the old TCBY Yogurt stand, one of the few remaining places where you can find those walnuts in syrup that I like so much and can’t find in New England or out West. I realize that TCBY is gone now and something called “Freshens” seems to have taken their place (and no syrupy walnuts available), but after some searching I did find one Columbo Yogurt who still offered that hard-to-find fattening topping. In the same
area I also noticed a Chick Filet, another of my favorite “splurges” when flying through the South that’s not available where I live.
Jazzie seems to enjoy being brushed or bathed or petted or whatever, as long as she has that human touch she seems content. But then, who doesn't respond to being touched in a kind and loving way?Hmmmm….I wonder if the plentiful availability of such unhealthy and fat-ladden choices has anything to do with why I struggled with my weight while growing up and living in this part of the country? (Not that the struggle is over of course, but perhaps I'm better armed and educated to make it today). And judging by the people you see on the street, it seems many other people fight (and perhaps lose) that same battle between what I want and what is good for my body. Not that there aren’t healthy choices out there, but if Atlanta airport is any example, I’d still have to walk past a lot of greasy but tempting fast-food, fried-food options to get to those few and far between healthier ones. Perhaps that explains the extra flesh, high blood pressure, diabetes and other ailments so common among residents in parts of the country where the food options tend to be a plethora of fast and fatty or surgary foods, and the tendency to exercise several times a week (and clicking the remote doesn’t count) is much harder to find. Oh well, as Scarlett O’hara says, I’ll worry about that tomorrow, but for now, I wonder if I can afford to buy the large size of chocolate vanilla swirl AND the nuts in syrup?
Appreciating our soldiers (male and female) and their families
Later in the day as I work on my laptop writing this log while waiting at the gate for my flight, I saw a gentleman waiting nearby get up as two soldiers in fatigue uniform walked past him, and he thanked them for what they did and shook their hands. It was obvious he didn’t know either soldier, but felt compelled to show his appreciation however he could, and it was also obvious how much that effort meant to them. I like that. What a nice moment, and I’m glad I was there to see it. It reminds me of that commercial for some investment company or bank about responsibility – you know the one where the woman grabs the guy who’s about to step out in front of a car, and then someone who sees her do that later helps another stranger on the street who’s struggling to carry something, and then that person…..do you know the one? That’s my favorite commercial, because it shows how we can “pass on” good deeds when other people see us do them and are inspired to do the same. Seeing that gentleman take the time and initiative to thank those soldiers makes me wish I had thought of that. But if I didn’t, then I’m sure glad he did.
The longer I wait in the airport the more I notice the presence of both male and female soldiers dressed in light-colored fatigues moving through the airport with purpose and confidence. I’m not sure why that surprises me, for after all we are at war now, and have been for several years. So perhaps seeing soldiers today moving with quiet purpose through airports is not that different than what our parents or grandparents saw in decades past, when they watched men in uniform move through train stations following orders to go wherever they were deployed when their country had a need and they answered the call. Perhaps the only difference is the mode of transportation and maybe the noticeable number of women in uniform today that our parents and grandparents didn’t see in years prior.
I was impressed with the agent at the Delta gate, when as she began making announcements for boarding the flight which left before mine, she made a brief tribute to the soldiers traveling on the flight at that gate (it was going to Charleston) and gave us a chance to show our appreciation too by a round of applause and allowing them to board first. It was a nice gesture but perhaps still a pretty small show of appreciation from us, especially given the huge risks they take and the high price they often pay as a result of what they do for all of us. Perhaps I notice this more than most since I spent five years working in a DoD environment with active military personnel. After getting to know them and their families and how they live--seeing spouses and children who are separated from their loved ones for months or even years, often not even knowing where they are or what they are doing for security reasons--well, unless we know people well who live like that, the sacrifices they make in their personal lives for that service to our country (and us) – is something perhaps we can’t even fathom.
Tim and I are fans of the show "Army Wives" on Lifetime, because it seems to do a great job of showing some of these everyday sacrifices – things that most of us just take for granted. I think it’s good to be reminded of what we have once in a while, less we forget how lucky we are to have what we have and enjoy the freedom and right to choose the way we do – often because of those people who give up some of their personal choices for a greater good. How short-sighted we can be if we forget to open our eyes and look around us, at all we have compared to so many other places in the world. And yet, even with all those blessings, still we tend to complain about this or that so often. It seems to me that learning to count our blessings instead is truly a more gracious and happier way to live, but I wonder why sometimes it seems so difficult for some of us to do that? Are we born that way, or are we "conditioned" later?
Ramblings on courtesy
I must be in a pensive and somewhat somber mood today (ya think?!), because as I board my flight from Atlanta to Barbados, I reflect on the lack of courtesy I’ve seen just today in the airport, but that reminds me of other instances that are such a common sight in our fast-paced society today. I regularly see people using cell phones in restaurants or airports or even movie theaters (Heaven forbid), seemingly without a care to whom might be sitting next to them or how they might be disrupting their peace and quiet (what little you can find in an airport as it is). And while that person we’re disturbing could get up move elsewhere, the problem with that solution is that since cell phones are so commonplace now-- it’s likely that wherever they go someone else will whip out that talking device wherever they sit next time, and perhaps do so with as much “oblivion” as the person they moved away from in the first place. With the proliferation of all these items of "convenience" -- have we forgotten how to be courteous?
There is probably a good reason that back when landline phones were our only option, they were installed in out-of-the-way places such as hallways and along a side wall and NOT right in the middle of the restaurant or in the seating area of the airport, and not in movie theaters at all. To me it’s sad how in our society our courtesy for others doesn’t seem to extend to our own ability to “notice others” and how we might impact them very often by what we do. But that courtesy only applies after someone makes a “rule” about where cellphones (or whatever else) can be used, or bans them from cars so we can keep ourselves (and our young drivers) safe from ourselves and themselves -- since after all, we so-called “grown-ups” are the example for those that follow, and they learn from watching us.
One thing I notice often is how many people don’t seem to notice their server in a restaurant when they approach the table. It’s like we forget that server has a job to do and doesn’t have time to “wait” for us to interrupt our conversation and look in their direction so they don’t have to interrupt it for us – something they might be reluctant to do if they were raised to be polite and courteous to others. The world we live in seems to breed two kinds of people – those that stand aside and wait patiently, and those that push their way ahead of others without ever seeming to even notice the courteous way others step aside to allow them to go first. And what I find most concerning based on what I’ve seen--and I’m sure I’ve done myself--is that all too often we “oblivious” ones tend to stay that way, and the “nicer ones” out there seem to get run over by the “not so nice” that seem to bring chaos and discord with them wherever they go. Just like in that restaurant – if that server is forced by our “oblivion” to wait for us each time, then obviously that shows they are more courteous and polite than we are. But unfortunately that also means their next customer waits to place their order, or for their food to be picked up in the kitchen while it’s still warm, etc. So our actions most definitely affect other people we may not even think about.
How lovely if we're taught from childhood--and are receptive to being reminded as adults when needed ---that these things ARE important; and that paying attention to what we’re doing and being aware of our surroundings is not just about US, but about how considerate we are of others too. Even if that process of making the effort to “notice” things -- might mean we have to “get over” ourselves and wait OURSELVES once in a while. Perhaps if each of us waited a little bit more often, and tried a little bit harder to do our part, doesn’t it seem likely that everyone would benefit in the long run?
I notice the lack of courtesy again during the flight safety instructions as I look around and see how many people are simply ignoring the flight attendant's safety speech and demonstration, perhaps because they’ve “heard it all before”. Yet those are typically the very same people who panic if something happens and they realize only THEN that they don’t have the slightest idea what to do because they couldn’t be bothered to pay attention when someone was trying to help them know what to do if it became necessary. I don’t want to be one of those people. And I don’t want to be the person in that seat who can’t interrupt what they’re doing to look up and see that the flight attendant is asking them what they’d like to drink of if they’d like a headset – because I’ve seen too often that is the very person who will complain later because they didn’t get a headset or wonder why it’s taking the flight attendants so long to get to their row with the beverages. Yikes.
As I get older I recognize the meaning behind many of those old clichés I’ve always heard – things like “what goes around comes around”. I think I “get that” now – because whether we live in a pond or an ocean, everything we do creates ripples in the water that affects everyone else – even people we may not even know. And if we aren't paying attention, then we might create not ripples-but tidal waves for others, especially if we insist on making ourselves the center of the pond and everyone else in it expendable to us or what we need or want. Why does it seem that it’s typically the "nice people" out there that find themselves riding out those tidal waves as they try to keep the pond safe for everyone, while the “ripplers” coast through life on the backs of others through the hard times, while never taking their turn at being the life preserver rather than the one that must be carried or that avoids helping someone else? But such is life, and if my understanding of what I read by John MacDonald, and Jane Austen before that, and Shakespeare before that, and perhaps even the Bible before that – it seems a consistent theme throughout the history of the world.
Interesting that I’m writing this and mention Jane Austen, since the movie for today’s flight begins and it happens to be “Becoming Jane” – the story of the life of Jane Austen and what was marketed as the love of her life. I say marketed because I am always a bit wary of anything which comes from Hollywood and advertised as the story of someone’s life, and admit I’m a bit spoiled by many years of watching PBS which seems to keep things much truer to real life than what makes good box office sales. And from what I understand about this story – as much as I wanted to watch it anyway because I’ve been a huge fan of Jane Austen since high school (back when most people would have said “Jane who”?), that the story was not exactly true to the history that perhaps she would have written about her life herself. These days I find myself being thankful for Mr. Hoke, a former English professor whom I was privileged to have as a teacher through all four years of high school, for introducing me to writers and poets like Austen and Dickens, Hemingway and Faulkner, Keats and Byron, and of course Shakespeare, along with a plethora of others.
The “Becoming Jane” movie has shown a couple of scenes that I thought were pretty well done, because they remind me of the wonderful sense of humor that practically leaps off the pages in Jane Austen’s books. So far my favorite scene in the movie is when all the young men are playing cricket in the beautiful green fields of England and suddenly Jane picks up the bat and stalks up to the plate (I’m sure my ignorance of cricket is showing here, so if you’re reading this and can offer corrections please do) – anyway, Jane strides up to the plate amidst the “shocked” utterances of everyone around her, because after all women don’t play cricket, it’s not “done” – and she proceeds to hit such a good shot that it appears her play overcomes the other team entirely, and in a way that leaves those open mouths of shock still open with awe at how well she did. Well done Jane. How much like real life that scene seems to me – because I seem to remember many times when I sense a “dropped jaw” among others after something I did (perhaps in pleasant surprise and other times shock or dismay). And other times I was the one left with my mouth gaping open in surprise (pleasant or otherwise). Is that art illustrating real life, or real life following art?
As I look out the window after a couple of hours into the flight and see the beginnings of azure colored water in varying shades of blues and greens and aquas indicating different depths and bottoms below, I also notice what appeared to be small barrier islands ringed with edges of sandy beaches, and the darker hues of blue to our east beyond. Our captain had indicated before takeoff that we’d be following along the coast, so I assumed we were over the barrier islands over Florida. Soon we left the mainland behind, with only clouds and seascapes beneath us for the remainder of the flight.
As I turn from my window and return my attention to the movie, I’m just in time to hear another of what is to become one of my favorite lines from the movie: When Jane suddenly sits down to write something that has occurred to her just as she’s introduced to some Lady of title (remember her works are set among the “landed gentry” of England), the Lady asks “What’s she doing” and Jane’s mother answers “She’s writing”. And the Lady’s only response is “Can anything be done about it?” Priceless. How like life today in some circles. Even though hundreds of years separate Jane Austen and I, perhaps we have more in common than I might think.
e have what it takes to make this kind of life work, or even if we'll like it in the longrun -- we think we might like to give it a try and see how it works out.
live off trust funds or early retirement income). It’s amazing what we can make work when we are motivated enough and willing to “just deal” with whatever downside comes with a chosen lifestyle, especially if we're also willing to make whatever sacrifices that also comes with that lifestyle. Everything in life is about the choices we make eh? 
